Sayings for Work - (I cannot be held responsible for the consequences)

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.

10. Ahh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

24. Do I look like a people person?

25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic, & disorder-my work here is done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.

39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon? :-)

40. Oh I get it... like humor... but different

How To Cost Microsoft Money

A cute tale of taking it "the man", if the man has the last name "Gates"!.

NOT SAFE FOR WORK

A great little Tech Support Flash Animation.

This little cartoon mad me laugh. Probably says more about me.

Isn't this the reason for the internet? So we can gaze at wonder at the things people used to do to amuse themselves prior to ADSL and Bandwidth contention issues. The illustrated Guide to Hand Shadows by Henry Bursill is a fine example of one of the activities.

I tried out a couple and I can only do Bird in Flight and a Blind Bunny (with the eyehole).

Mike Quin has a good description of the Pedal for Scotland ride in his own report. It is much more literate than my collection of photos. He did not include the numerous times we waited for me. Decent report by a decent bloke.

My favourite bit was my exclamation approaching the rest stop at Cramond Brig. "It's a PUB!!!"

I have been visiting Hidden Glasgow for a while now to find out more about this city with its colourful and often neglected past.

Taking the bikes home on the train 

We arrive in one piece at Meadowbank stadium 

Heading through Edinburgh Traffic - I should have strapped a video camera to my helmet 

Sun appears as we approach Edinburgh  

Steamy stop in Avonbridge Church Hall (this is just after screaming down the hills at an average speed of 35 miles an hour)

An early photo before the rain started in earnest

Queue behind the youngest entrant Matthew (1362), who is five 

Mike Quin ready for a cycle ride to Edinburgh

Getting ready in George Square 

Gilbert and Sullivan for the Unix Admin

I am the very model of a modern systems ad - a - min
I install service packs after I get a backup in.

Or (pinched after a quick google)

i am the very model of a modern Unix Sysadmin,
I've information relevant to programs in slash usr bin,
I know the tricks of emacs and the vi bugs historical,
From a to ZZ upper case, in order categorical;
I'm very well acquainted too with matters of the interface,
I understand commands of pine, and how they hurt the human race.
About the pico editor I'm teeming with a lot o' bosh -
With many cheerful facts of how it's dumber than a Macintosh.

Everyone:

With many cheerful facts of how it's dumber than a Macintosh.

Unix Sysadmin:

I'm very good at showing users how to pick the best of tools,
I know I should avoid the nerds who hang out in the vestibules;
In short, in matters relevant to programs in slash usr bin,
I am the very model of a modern Unix Sysadmin.

Everyone:

In short, in matters relevant to programs in slash usr bin,
He is the very model of a modern Unix Sysadmin.

Think you have a crap job then check these out and rate your woe.

Well, I finished the Glasgow to Edinburgh Charity Ride for Pedal for Scotland.

Unfortunately, I can't upload the photos yet. But I have downloaded them off the phone and will upload them when I get home.

We are off today to get Liz's new bike from Dales Cycles. A whole new era of cycling with Liz beckons.

Bumper Sticker Insubordination

A great story about Lynne Gobbell who got fired for having a Kerry bumper Sticker in her car and then got hired by the Kerry campaign. There is audio for this Slate story on NPR.

Retro Google

Here are pictures from the original Google setup. I especially like the custom lego disk box.

I Want My IRC!

Is this the best User Friendly Cartoon ever? Probably not, but it is the best one I am looking at right now.

I found the original Sales Brochure for my first car - a 1961 Mercury Comet. I had to replace the original engine with a six cylinder 160 when my brother rusted out out the cylinders by leaving the head covers off one winter.

Man, I loved that car.

Sometimes a typewriter is just a typewriter

Maybe the lesson to be learned from this is that you should not believe everything you read in a blog.

Even more interesting is the speed at which this document (MS Word vs Selectric) forgery thing was picked up and deciminated versus the lack of inquiry into the Swift Boat Veterans Who Lied debacle.

Good Morning, Baghdad

Good special report in the Guardian from a first hand report on a US Helicopter Attack on Civilians

Warthog Launch

Take the best transport in any game and combine with loads of explosives and what do you get? A Brilliant flash game that will waste loads of time.

Pornolize a Site today

I sent our pornolized corporate site to the web guys using tiny url and waited for them to figure it out.

One of the best links I have ever passed onto them.

This is definitely NOT Safe for work

Choose Bush

Brilliant take on the Trainspotting "Choose Life" poster (or the AdminSpotting "Choose SysAdmin" Poster).

Rumsfeld's dirty war on terror

An extract from Seymour Hersh's recent book which tells the story of how Donald Rumsfeld greenlighted the use of terror in the questioning of terror suspects.

Seat Guru

This site allows you to pick the best seat on aircraft flown by most major airlines.

With pre-flighting seat booking as a default option on most flights this site is indispensible. It combines years of travelling experience and knowledge in an easy accessible format. What the web was meant to do.

Well, it is another great morning in Scotland.

The weather is starting off cloudy and that lovely light scottish mist and then by noon the full sun is appearing for a glorious ride home.

I do not know how many of these days are going to occur, so I am getting as much as I can while it is here. Soon the afternoons will be dark and we will be in full blown pit pony season. Until that happens and it affects the cycling, I am enjoying this great weather.

Ed Stephan's graph of the U.S. Military Deaths in the Conquest of Iraq reminds me of the Charles Minard's map of Napoleon's failed campaign to Moscow.

Unfortunately, it does not show the Iraqi deaths during the same time. That is probably a number we will never know.

How to install Windows XP in 5 hours or less [dive into mark]

I am sure that we are all accustom with the rebuild. I have to do this at least 1 to 2 times a year and it is usually an all day affair (with a week of two for reinstalls for things I forgotten).

If you are like me, you remember those great Japanese Scrolling shooters that use to appear in the arcade. The instructions were indecipherable but you are sure they would have said - "shoot everything". Also figuring out what the heck you were supposed to do was part of the fun.

Every Extend is a shooter with a difference. You just blow yourself up, trying to take everything with you (over and over again).

The download is free and needs to be decompresse using WINrar. It is worth the 9.76mb of bandwidth.

6 Ways to Reboot the System

Unfortunately, this is tied to an article on "The Arnold" changing Californian Politics. Personally I think he is an ass. But this side panel on changing the electoral process in the States is quite informative.

I have been "very politely" corrected by Dode that the Bush by Numbers: Four Years of Double Standards piece in the Independent was actually credited to fellow Canadian Graydon Carter's book What We've Lost.

I have not read it - but now I will.

Wash Your Car

Flipping Hilarious Blog entry

Bob the Angry Flower Veterans for Truth

Great cartoon from a very funny site.

QDB: Quote #106579

Bash.org quotes are normally a scattered prospect - some good and some not so good.

But this one is a little jewel plucked from the mire known as IRC.

Brilliant flash game that suits the upcoming halloween season.

It may be as big as Yeti's batting penguins.

A Murder of Scarecrows

I have turned off blogger registration for posting comments.

I did not realise I had this activated until I tried to reply to a couple comments and it warned me about anonymous posting.

I hate having to register for a site just to add my $0.02 (Canadian Cents, of course).

Pedal For Scotland is coming up on the the September 19th.

It is a charity ride cycling from George Square to Edinburgh.

I will be bringing back photos.

Bush by numbers: Four years of double standards -
Trust the brits to come along with some decent reportage on the Bush Administration.

I normally don't read the Independent. The Independent is known as the Journalist's Paper. Since it just provides the information with a minimum of opinion. I normally get the Guardian since I like to read someone's else's ideas as well as the story.

Firefox is just impressing me more and more. I like tab browsing and the extensions. But have found how to get loads of search engines into the search bar.

Just found a load of search engine plugins for my favourite sites. It now allows me to search Suprnova, Wikipedia and it even makes AMG almost usable.

Example 1 - Why Life is not GTA VC

I recently witnessed an accident which proved that GTA does not model life.

In GTA you can mow down endless lines of street lighting poles in every vehicle except the motorcycles in VC.

Recently during a driving lesson, I witnessed a woman who drove into a newly constructed lamp-post and stopped abruptly. If she was living in the GTA universe, the post would have gone flying and she would have driven blissfully through without even a "star" appearing in her wanted level.

Instead she stopped and the post waved back and forth with a sizeable dent in it. The car was planted on the island that the post sat on and it was going nowhere.

OK, I have two gmail accounts for the first respondents.

Leave a comment - get a gmail account.

OK - I am pimping for comments.

By the time somone leaves a comment, gmail will be like hotmail.